MR. FAME AND SENIOR STRATEGIST
John is the Father of FAME. In fact, he used to ask us to address him as such. To his dismay nobody ever did. He’s a pretty cool guy, though—for a music major. Fast cars, watches, and anything related to inventive and new technology are John’s passions. He is eloquent in the art of making everything work perfectly, which he calls “thorough” and we call “time-consuming.”
John admits to being a hacker, though he won’t say exactly what he’s hacked. His FAME specialties (all completely legal) are sales, backend and databases. If you want to make him really happy, ask him about his new idea for making your business FAME-us.
MRS. FAME AND SOCIAL MEDIA GURU
Heather worked for FAME for quite a while without officially being part of the team. How’s this possible? (Rest assured it wasn’t some elaborate scheme to skimp on taxes. Just her master plan to marry John!) But finally we just got down on our knees and begged and she joined us as a full-time member. Now she’s an owner…go figure. Heather likes people. We’re grateful for that.
Heather suffers from an allergy to telephones, developed from years working as a kindergarten teacher by day and super waitress by night. (So if you get her on the phone, try to make her day interesting!) Heather has the largest social network on the team (measuring is awkward) and the smallest amount of time to cultivate it.
STRATEGIST, DESIGNER, AND REFEREE
Will has no programming background whatsoever, which is why he’s so good at bossing the rest of us around. He’s a passionate photojournalist and reports once sleeping on the Great Wall of China (we have yet to see pictures).
Will advertises himself as “an experienced failure and excellent celebrator,” which we think sounded great in the interview. He was homeschooled, skipped undergrad, went to law school for 3 years, left without a degree and taught at a small photo school. Will can’t get team spirit and team building out of his blood—we like that.
DEVELOPER, PROGRAMMER, AND TEAM COUNSELOR
Derrick doesn’t talk much, but when he does he doesn’t leave anything unsaid. He’s passionate about usability and building good user experiences. Derrick has a special bromance with Ryan. They like to sip coffee and complement each other on their hipster bikes.
When Derrick is not spending time with Ryan, he likes to train worms for ruler-races or page surf (page surf with Ryan, that is — geez, where will it all end?). During his free time he serves as the children’s pastor at the Church at Chapel Hill Bremen campus.
Ryan “StudMuffin” likes to drink coffee in pots (the bigger the better). He visits the office occasionally to conduct code reviews and barge in on discussions. “StudMuffin” loves doing outdoorsy stuff—like bird watching (out the window), Apple-picking (at BestBuy), hiking (through IKEA), surfing (the phone book), camel riding (ummm?), and more. (FAME’s don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy forbids further questions). At night he’s a semi-pro Nerf gun fighter. We love him.
ARTIST AND SOCIAL MEDIA WIZ
Marcus is calm, cool, and collected, three essential qualities for FAME customer support. To stay that way, he likes to chew spearmint gum. (Because of him, we’re installing a vending machine in our office.) After high-school, Marcus worked at a “homey chain restaurant serving American comfort food” before gravitating to social media marketing. But, oddly enough, what Marcus loves most are recumbent bikes, and he says he wouldn’t mind being a Pedi-cab or cycle rickshaw driver. Go figure.
SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT
Anna likes taking Instagram snaps of brick walls, which she insists can look “surprisingly varied”. She used to study Performing Arts and has even wrote, directed, and starred in a few short skits (not about brick walls). She likes to knit, even when it’s snowing – a side effect of having parents from beyond the Mason-Dixon divide.
Anna worked as an accounts analyst (think Jack Ryan) before coming to FAME. Her role was to save humanity from missing time-punches and this distracted her from her true calling: advocating for social media equality. Anna is extremely fast and has completed all the work she’s been given. Perhaps you have some ideas for something she could do?
WRITER AND VOCAL ANALYST
Isaac claims to have taken a lot of “semi-active outdoorsy trips to the wild side in a friday-night casual kind of way.” We’re not precisely sure what he means, but we imagine him in a dinner jacket, sporting a Walther P99 in a shoulder holster, and smoking cigarettes while climbing Blood Mountain in the winter. Isaac studied anthropology, the cumulative effects of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”, and spent a year or two in Nashville.
Before Isaac sold his soul to FAME, he was on his way to becoming a professional song writer and treble clef sketch artist. He is keen on story-telling, growth hacking and little jello cups. He claims to know every Taylor Swift song by heart (he regularly sings them in the office). He also possesses a bag of magical fairy dust that will help FAME dominate the internet. We’re very glad he’s on our side.
DESIGNER AND COMEDY CONSULTANT
Chris has worked for some big names, but has seen the light. He ran away from all the fortune and fame to free-lance as a cutting edge designer. He moonlights for FAME, a soon-to-be big name. He is also a professionally trained snake charmer. He says his goal is to “make FAME look awesome.”
Chris used to dislike fruit products until he tried an Apple for the first time. It didn’t take long before he started getting into skateboarding and gangsta rap. Chris lives life to the max and is never stingy with his infectious laughter.
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When Josh was a kid, his parents tried to keep him from playing games—all sorts. He rebelled by creating his own multi-level board games, learning the tin whistle, bass, and screaming steel guitar, joining a rock band and ultimately launching a semi-successful bid for world domination.
Although he claims to be a nerd, Josh is a walking, talking guide to ultra-pure, vegan food available in the A-town. A former weight-lifting champ, he recently gave up the beach life for the late nights and squeaky toys associated with newborn children, where his attention has finally been permanently diverted from kale and hipster music.
VIDEOGRAPHER AND JEDI MASTER
Daniel is a refugee from the education world, having worked decades organizing rascals, nerds, jocks, and goths. (No wonder he feels at home here!) He chucked it all for the video and film production world—and a nice retirement check. He likes cameras, tripods, scrims, shivs, and his family “but not necessarily in that order.”